Wednesday, 29 October 2014

Let's Talk

Melissa Gaggiano Photography

A light in the dark,
A spark can take flight.

For some depression is a black dog. Me though? I like black Labradors with their loyal, big puppy love me eyes. So I cannot equate depression with dogs. I can, however, compare it to drowning.

When it is a D-day I am sucked down into a dark oppressive ocean. No air. No sight. I cannot breathe, and I am choking on nothingness. The weight of the water pushes me down and I cannot reach the surface. No air. No friends. There is nothing but my sharp thoughts and… the void.

Everyone has their problems and their worries. And while the stigma attached to depression is disappearing, it doesn’t change the fact that those without depression still aren’t getting it. And why would they? I certainly don’t desire anyone to feel this way.

I have seen the distancing of friends and the eye roll of people who have seen me on a D-day. They don’t want to know or perhaps they just don’t know how to react. Which is funny because when I’m in my private hell, all I want is some companionship and conversation. Oh and pizza and chocolate. Lots of chocolate!

I have found that conversation, while not an all out cure, does take away some of the darkness. My thoughts go outward as I listen to other people and their stories. Just being with someone can bring me that much closer to the surface of that dark ocean. To make another visual comparison, when someone acknowledges your depression and you feel that non-judgement, it is like wandering through the dark woods and finding a log fire burning. It is welcoming and safe.