Sunday, 28 December 2014

Resolution

Melissa Gaggiano Photography

            I absolve myself of ever again writing a new year’s resolution. For many a year I have tried and never once have I hit the benchmark of all that I resolve to do to make myself into a fabulous, picture perfect version of myself.

Somewhere, toward the end of my teen years I was romanced by the idea of having new years resolutions.  This no doubt relates to my torrid love affair with list making [read ‘List Girl’]. With mucho gusto I ran off a voluminous list of activities and goals I had never before achieved, which would somehow transport me to a new state of Melissa – a brighter, healthier, more brilliant version of me.

Within one week of day zero I would have started 3 out of the 20 or so things on my resolution list. After two weeks I’d have gotten tired of the things on my list. By the end of January I have forgotten there was ever a list.

You see, I love a list, I really do. But New Year resolutions are completely lost on me, because I am trying to be a person that isn’t really me. It would be a different case if resolutions were more about satisfying my inner core, as opposed to making myself more in the vision of society perfection.


And so, as we are days away from the New Year I abandon the resolutions that I will ultimately fail at. I just want two things – good health and general happiness. I will not wait till the stroke of twelve for my resolve to kick in. I won’t even set myself unrealistic examples of how I am going to make these things happen. A list, I finally understand, will not bring happiness. Happiness comes in the between moments of thought and action, moments we do not plan. And as for having good health, that will come when there is simple balance in all things that I do. Not too little, not too much.

P.S. But a plan, and a schedule would be a far better thing. Don't you think?

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