Sunday, 4 January 2015

The Coffee Monologue

Day 1:
I shall take a break from drinking coffee. Today is a good day to begin my self-imposed coffee embargo. I’ll start my day with a camomile tea. Yes. A nice hot, soothing camomile tea will be lovely.
Boiling the water now. Got the mug. Staring at the coffee machine – not today, thank you very much. I’m drinking camomile today…
Coffee it is then.

Day 2:
You didn’t even try! Just went straight for the coffee machine, didn't you. Have you no compunction or gumption? No self respect?

Day 3:
Yesterday’s brilliant effort – 1 hot coffee in the morning, and 2 iced coffees in the arvo. Is this your idea of caffeine abstinance? Do you even know what words mean?
Sorry.
Okay. I’ll just say ‘bygones’. Starting today – no more coffee.
You are right of course, mean voice in my head.
I heard that.
I know you did.
Where do you think you’re going?
Just going to the kitchen to get something to eat. Don’t worry. No coffee.
Hmm. Coffee machine don’t you be looking at me like that… you sly, sexy, steamin’ thing…

Day 5:
In my defence, it was heinously hot two days ago. And even though the night air cooled down the house remained hot. And so I was hot. No way could I sleep. Do you know that I got all of three hours broken sleep. I had no choice.
There’s always a choice.
Mean voice inside my head, now is not the time to be a smug bitch. I was exhausted. I couldn’t function. I had the brain function of a zombie. I couldn’t even put three coherent words together. I had to drink high strength coffee.
Yeah, but the higher the strength, the more sugar you drink. You had 3 SUPER COFFEES!!!
I was wired! I was fired!!
You were still freakin’ tired!!!
Don’t you judge me. Don’t you dare.
I swear, tomorrow moring I’ll come clean.

Day 6:
Enough! The foot is going down. No. More. Stimulants.
Okay.
Okay? That’s it? No more excuses?
Nope.
This is progress.
I just couldn’t be bothered operating the coffee machine today.

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