Monday, 30 November 2015

Be Afraid, Be Very Afraid of Car Park Markets

Geena Davis, The Fly: Be Afraid, be very afraid.
What they don’t tell you about car park markets:

1. Despite the sunny weather, it will be freezing under the car park, and your immune system will take a hit.

2. Your soul will be destroyed when no one even glances at your stall.

3. Your stall neighbour will be a lovely lady with a surprisingly bogan family that keeps hanging around.

4. A poor little boy from said bogan family will vomit behind your stand. Bogan family doesn’t bother to clean up the mess.

5. There will be at least one potential customer, commenting that your prices are rather low, yet she doesn’t buy anything.

6. No one said it would be easy, but… faaaaaark!!!

7. Bring a book to read. It’s going to be a long day with the neighbouring bogans.

8. You’re advised to arrive and set up at 7 AM. You get there at 7 AM to discover other stallholders have been there since 4 AM. They have prime position in the car park, and you are given the bottom’s end of the car park, right next to the bogans.

9. No amount of telling my friends that I got ‘experience points’ makes it right. Face it! ‘Experience points’ is code for ‘it was awful, don’t make me do it again’.